We’re fishing mad at Harris Sportsmail. Like we’re sure most of you do, we eat, breathe and sleep fishing. But even we can sometimes take a look at some of the weird and wonderful stuff you can get on eBay and think, ‘now that person is REALLY into fish.’ Now we’re a Top Rated eBay Seller, we wanted to dive in at the deep end of eBay. Here are some of the best things we’ve found, from novelty gifts to antiques and collectibles:
Gold Fish Mask Full Head Latex Orange Fancy Dress Carp Costume
In order to catch the fish, you must become the fish! The seller specifies this creation is great for stag nights, but emphasises that it’s a unisex product. Clearly such captivating beauty transcends gender. Stick this on with a wetsuit, bob around your nearest lake, and pray the latex protects against treble hooks.
Vintage Retro Fish Thermometer Ornament
‘Nan, it’s getting a bit nippy in here, can I turn the heating on?’
‘CHECK THE FISH FIRST! I DON’T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE GARY, IF YOU BLEED ME DRY ON MY ENERGY BILL YOU’RE GETTING THE SLIPPER.’
We dream of a world in which this conversation took place.
This very conscientious seller makes sure everyone knows there’s a chip on the side. This may be the only instance in recorded history where a fish is better off without chips.
Garden Solid Antique Brass Fish Tap
Some of these fish are really making themselves useful around the house aren’t they? We reckon Tony Montana would have these taps, if he decided to retire to the Cotswolds. That fish looks deliriously happy. Probably a bit nauseous from being spun about constantly in those summer months.
Antique Genuine Victorian White Ceramic Door Knob Pull Handle with Fish
Now this is a fish that won’t slip out of your hand when you grab it! The seller for this ‘beautiful vintage item’ says it’s ideal for fishing lovers or a man-cave. It’s also a one-of-a-kind apparently, which doesn’t make an awful amount of sense, considering you need two door knobs to complete a set.
Carp Fish Zipper Pouch Weird Pen Pencil Case
The eBay seller says, ‘it looks like a real fish, but is has no fishy smell!’ Yep, thanks for clearing up that one mate. Final note, you might say this is perfect for a Back to School Sale. We have a feeling this blog post is going to contain a lot of puns.
Beautiful Collection of 3 Fish Shape Genuine Egyptian Perfume Bottles
Now this is something we hope DEFINITELY does not have a fishy smell. We know these are supposed to be fish, but we can’t help but think they look like a cross between emojis and Angry Birds. Did someone say ‘Valentine’s Day present?’ Because we sure didn’t.
Fine Chinese Green Porcelain Handmade Painting Fish Statue Snuff Bottle
This would get extra points from us if that stopper was supposed to be a pop-up boilie. This snuff bottle was made in China. We guess that’s supposed to be a marker of authenticity. Maybe not so much when you realise almost everything else in existence is made in China. Honestly though, there’s some painstaking detail in this bottle. Just a shame we cannot think of anyone who uses snuff.
Taxidermy Red Bellied Piranha up to 12” Oddities Curiosities Fish Dried
The store that sells this little beauty has the Death’s Head Moth from Silence of the Lambs as its logo, to which we thought, of course. It looks very well preserved, although we can’t help but feel its eyes would follow us around the room. We think with those sharp teeth it could make a good bottle opener.
If you think this is freaky…
Rare Globe Fish 15” Long Taxidermy Oddities Curiosity Obscura Lamp Globefish
We couldn’t help but notice the bottle of wine next to this… gift? We’d probably need a drink if we were greeted with this guy in a dimly-lit bedroom. Check out how the fins are positioned, is the fish raising them in surrender? If so, doesn’t look like that worked out too well.
Fish Fossil in Matrix – Found in USA – Eocone Period
This is more like it. We like our preserved fish a little less nightmare inducing. Although it looks a tiny bit like someone’s dipped a fish in motor oil and thrown it at the wall. That is not a good catch and release tactic.
We hope we’ve shown what eBay has to offer! Now it’s turn for you to see what we have to offer at Harris Sportsmail. Check out our eBay store, the Tackle Zone, here. Get brand new fishing gear from the world’s most well-known brands, with fast and affordable worldwide shipping.